Cutting through the pretense
The pitch goes something like this:
Thanks for taking my call. I got your letter telling me that you won’t be making me an offer and I accept the decision. I need to improve my interviewing skills and I’m asking for your help. I am asking you to be brutally honest about my performance and what I could have done better. I can make you three promises. I promise I will not interrupt you. I promise I will not defend myself.And I promise I will not contact you or your company for a year.Will you help me?
That last appeal is important. It speaks to the desire of most HR people to be helpful. “I would be totally impressed with a candidate who came at me like that,” says Rich Franklin, HR director at KnowledgePoint in Petaluma, California. Like many HR people, Franklin is an educator. “This is a guy that wants to learn. If an HR person is any good at all, they would jump at that opportunity,” he adds. The key to success with this approach is to give the recruiter enough comfort so that his desire to be honest with you overcomes his reluctance to get into trouble. Most interviewers faced with a rejected candidate fear three things: an argument, a sob story, or a pest who might sue. Acknowledging that you accept the recruiter’s decision and will not try to appeal it is the first step. The three promises you make up front are further designed to counter these fears. The promise that you will not contact the interviewer is key. That gives a little assurance that what the interviewer tells you won’t come back and bite him or her. Don’t forget, the company is still free to contact you.
If you’re going to try this strategy, I ask only one thing: Demonstrate integrity. If you promise not to interrupt, bite your tongue and don’t interrupt. If you promise not to defend yourself, stick to your promise. It won’t be easy. Few of us have the constitution to listen to criticism without trying to explain or justify. Just listen and say thank you. Take what you learn and do better next time.